Budding journalists learn very early on, perhaps even in elementary school, the concept of Who, What, When, Where and Why for story telling. It’s simple: Who did it? What did they do? When did it happen? Where did it happen? Why did it happen? Most writing teachers add the sixth component as well: How did it happen? This is very basic reporting, but it gets a reader to the heart of a story quickly. In some cases reading any further than the first paragraph is unnecessary to get the essentials of any news article before moving on.
I guess when you think of the five most important things, the sixth question of “How” seems like extra information, a few more juicy details, the icing on the cake. But this weekend when I learned of the impending death of a dear friend, “How” was suddenly the most important thing in the world to me. It didn’t matter how she was dying, what mattered was how she lived.
This friend wasn’t one of my “go out to lunch with” friends, or even one of my “call on the phone” friends. Nevertheless, she was a source of light in my life. And it wasn’t just the story of her 30 plus year battle with cancer. It was her countenance when we stopped to visit on Sunday mornings at church. Her sunny smile, the light in her eyes when she talked about her family, they way she spoke of her sweet husband and his tender care for her, her pride in her grandchildren and her thankfulness for each day. Other than right before this last trip to the hospital all those weeks ago, I don’t think I ever saw Caren down or discouraged, even though she had so many reasons to be. She was a person to whom others went when they were discouraged or frightened, knowing they’d leave her presence feeling better, lighter somehow. She carried so much of Heaven with her that her going seemed like the most natural step in the world. The how of her life was her faith in God, her love for her family and the way she took people into her heart. It was as if I had known her my whole life. The Five Ws just never seemed very important after a visit with Caren, but the “How” was everything.
In whatever we do, writing, teaching, loving, living, “How” follows us wherever we go. Walking through this world can be like crossing a minefield, so many places to trip and fall, so many opportunities to make the wrong choices. It’s not about the book contracts, awards or even finishing a first draft, it’s about how we walk in the this world while we’re doing whatever we do. It’s about faith in God, family, friends, love. If “How” is in the right place, everything else will fall in line. Caren knew that, and she wrote the story of her life well. I’m just glad I had the chance to be a very small part of it.
